Sitting at Franca's I became very, very glad that I was born female. There were at least 5 private conversations occurring in a multitude of languages (some English) and at least another 4 public conversations (mostly English, at least one more Italian). I had absolutely no doubt whatsoever sitting there, observing this symphony, that any male entering the room and attempting to follow even a few seconds of this communication frenzy would simply end with an exploded head!
Even I, brought up on a steady diet of stop-start female conversations that jump from one topic to another with no apparent relevance - at the speed of thought, did not dare venture into what was clearly a practised ensemble. I did try to concentrate on keeping my mouth closed since my jaw kept on dropping in wonder. I also wished I had brought along a notebook as I kept missing crucial references to the best party planner in Joburg, or the two best (since the ladies couldn't seem to come to a conclusion) places to buy authentic chorico. The Bar Mitzvah of a shared (by many in the room) acquaintance's son seemed to have been a wonderful event and outfits for so-and-so's upcoming dinner party were being considered. And then...as it is bound to...the conversation turned to shoes. Of course it did. What were you expecting?
Did you see the latest pair of Jimmy Choo's displayed at that fancy shop in Sandton City? oh YES, I most certainly did - but they weren't as drool dead gorgeous as the little red crystal numbers I saw at Hyde Park the other day - at that place with the snooty assistant who can't afford to buy them either. But seriously, who would spend R12 000 (a STACK of cash) on a pair of shoes? Not us, the voices in the room chorused (yeah right, we all privately think, if I had that kind of dosh, I'd buy a pair in every colour)! And suddenly, I was part of the tide! Haven't we seen you around before? Who did you say referred you again? Oh..her?? Isn't she lovely? We just looove her (translation - you're cool...you're in!).
I have since gotten the low down on the best knock off Louis Vuitton handbags in town (yes, I buy knock offs - I also go to Franca's - people think I might actually be able to afford them) and gotten consultation from no less than 10 highly stylish women on which pair of Chanel sunglasses suit me best - I still get compliments when I wear them. I have also shared in the joy of new births and the concern over ill loved ones. They have laughed at me because I wouldn't get rid of my cats even though my (now live in) boyfriend has a severe allergy (he is much better now) to them. All things so wonderfully female. All because of the humble shoe.
Come to think of it...time to go see Franca again.
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